The Signals We Ignore—and the Life We Could Have if We Listen

I used to be a people-pleaser, willing to do anything for others just to gain their approval. This tendency became so overwhelming that I ultimately lost myself in fulfilling other people's desires. The most extreme example of this was when my husband convinced me that he should quit his job to build a house. I agreed to this, reassured that the project would only take a year or two. Ten years later, my husband passed away from cancer, and I found myself living in an unfinished house, surrounded by piles of sawdust and medical bills, with a heart full of complicated grief. I had lost myself in his project and his desires, neglecting my own needs when I agreed to the venture. What a mess!

This wouldn’t have happened if I had listened to my gut, which was uneasy from the very beginning.  My body was saying “NO!” in many ways…with stomach problems, with unending worry, with aches and pains that began as soon as I made the choice.  I was having dreams about being stuck, running in place, yet working hard to reach my destination. I ignored all of these signals because my mode of operating was to be a pleaser.  

Recently, I have learned to listen to my body. When I feel a sense of calm strength, peace, or even excitement, that signals me to say yes to a decision or opportunity. Conversely, if I experience tightness, uneasiness, or feel like I'm twisted up in knots, I know it's best to say no. 

This practice has allowed me to embrace the things I love—such as painting, hiking, dinner parties with friends, and gardening. It has also fostered a tone of mutual respect in my relationships, making everyone feel better overall.  I have discovered this the hard way…when you listen to the signals from your body, you are led in the direction your Soul wants to go.

Your body is always speaking - sometimes in shouts, sometimes in whispers.  Take a moment today to notice what it’s telling you. Is it leaning in with curiosity, or pulling back with caution? Your future self will thank you for listening.