The Signals We Ignore—and the Life We Could Have if We Listen
I used to be a people-pleaser, willing to do anything for others just to gain their approval. This tendency became so overwhelming that I ultimately lost myself in fulfilling other people's desires. The most extreme example of this was when my husband convinced me that he should quit his job to build a house. I agreed to this, reassured that the project would only take a year or two. Ten years later, my husband passed away from cancer, and I found myself living in an unfinished house, surrounded by piles of sawdust and medical bills, with a heart full of complicated grief. I had lost myself in his project and his desires, neglecting my own needs when I agreed to the venture. What a mess!
This wouldn’t have happened if I had listened to my gut, which was uneasy from the very beginning. My body was saying “NO!” in many ways…with stomach problems, with unending worry, with aches and pains that began as soon as I made the choice. I was having dreams about being stuck, running in place, yet working hard to reach my destination. I ignored all of these signals because my mode of operating was to be a pleaser.
Recently, I have learned to listen to my body. When I feel a sense of calm strength, peace, or even excitement, that signals me to say yes to a decision or opportunity. Conversely, if I experience tightness, uneasiness, or feel like I'm twisted up in knots, I know it's best to say no.
This practice has allowed me to embrace the things I love—such as painting, hiking, dinner parties with friends, and gardening. It has also fostered a tone of mutual respect in my relationships, making everyone feel better overall. I have discovered this the hard way…when you listen to the signals from your body, you are led in the direction your Soul wants to go.
Your body is always speaking - sometimes in shouts, sometimes in whispers. Take a moment today to notice what it’s telling you. Is it leaning in with curiosity, or pulling back with caution? Your future self will thank you for listening.
Paint Your Way out of a Worry Spiral
It usually starts in the middle of the night. I wake up with a nagging thought that quickly turns into a feeling of dread. After that, I toss and turn, struggling to fall back asleep. These thoughts often revolve around things I can’t control—such as conflicts with others, health issues, or concerns about a loved one. Once the cycle of worry begins, my mind goes into overdrive, altering my perception and causing me to feel irritable and unproductive.
The issue with worry is that it can become addictive. According to psychologists, it acts like a hit of dopamine in our brains, providing a false sense of control—even though it’s ultimately ineffective and stress-inducing.
Fortunately, it is possible to break free from the cycle of worry, and you can use your art practice as a tool to do so.
Transform Tension into Expression
This meditative art practice is a quick and enjoyable way to break the cycle of worry. The first step is to become aware of the sensations in your body while releasing any attached storylines. This is important because our egos tend to cling to stories, which can foster a sense of victimhood, leaving you feeling trapped and disempowered. No one wants that!
Next, notice where you feel tension or tightness in your body. Imagine its shape, size, texture, and color. Spend some time with these sensations, visualizing what you perceive. Just the act of noticing this energy can create some distance from it, allowing you to separate yourself from the feeling.
After that, draw or paint your experience using whatever materials you have at hand. Do this without overthinking—just focus on feeling and get your emotions onto the page. This simple act can leave you feeling lighter.
From there, nurture feelings of trust and support. Meditate on all the ways you are supported in your life—by the earth, your loved ones, and the Universe. Then, draw or paint this transformed feeling on a separate page or on top of your initial drawing. Choose colors and marks that represent how this new feeling manifests in your body.
The goal isn’t to create a perfect piece of art but to express what is true for you. This practice helps train your brain to release worry and cultivate feelings of trust—feeling supported and cared for. Over time, you will find that your habit of worrying diminishes, and your sleep improves.
As you navigate this process, be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself time to feel and express your emotions on the page. Take a moment to reflect on the artwork you've created, considering what each line, shape, or stroke represents to you. Carry this sense of trust into your daily life, knowing that you possess the tools to handle life's challenges with grace and resilience.